My Yelp Rubric

Having been bestowed the Yelp! Elite badge for my third year in a row now, I am now officially interested in keeping up with it because Yelp Austin throws awesome parties. I struggled with how to make Yelp! work for me, but after some fits and starts, I think I am officially a Yelping machine.

You see, Yelp allows you to rank businesses on a star rating of 1 to 5, 1 being bad and 5 being the best. They even have a suggestion for what each should mean but I invented my own rubric:

  1. Bad food, bad and borderline berating service. I.e.: it offended me from how bad it was. I am not an easily offended person. Never, ever going back.
  2. Bad food, bad service. Not going back anytime soon unless I get a weird craving or am with friends who insist on it.
  3. OK food, OK service. Some spots of brilliance but overall this is probably how they normally operate and they are unlikely to get my continued patronage. Would consider visiting again but likely wait a few months before trying again.
  4. Moar, please. I really like this place and get giddy plotting my next visit and what I will try on the menu next time.
  5. Everything about this experience was amazing: from the host to the service to the food. I will likely treasure this experience for a long time and will be able to taste the food that sat in my palate during this dining experience when I tell others of this tale.

Note: most of my dining experiences will be either a 3 or 4.

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